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Random thoughts

As of a few minutes ago my stepdad has been dead for five years. Five years! I have spent those years constantly feeling like I'm waking up from a dream over and over again. It only just occurred to me a few days ago ,after I read something ,that I've probably been in a mixed episode most of the last five years. Both manic and severely depressed at the same time.

I only really realized how depressed I'd been when my doctor upped my Welbutrin and within a few days the nightly binge eating stopped. Hadn't realized how much abuse I was pummeling myself with.

One of the things I feel the most amusing about my lovely mood disorder etc, is how I can become super competent in the moments of illness and death, but a broken zipper could have me running screaming under the covers. Silly.

Comments

( 1 comment — Leave a comment )
dakotaluna
Feb. 20th, 2011 05:38 pm (UTC)
I can become super competent in the moments of illness and death, but a broken zipper could have me running screaming under the covers.

This is me, too. :-(
( 1 comment — Leave a comment )

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